Prepare your kids for the world instead of trying to manipulate the world to be safe for your kids. Part of life is risk, and part of growing up is learning how to safely manage risk.
Technology isn’t all bad or all good. There are both benefits and risks for your child.
Safety features are important, but they’re not a replacement for open conversations with your child.
Predators can find children online, but you can help protect your kids and equip them to respond.
Kids may deserve spaces for privacy from their parents, but the internet is not that place. A journal or a phone call can offer safer places for privacy because they can’t go viral the way things shared on technology can.
Consider your child’s current device and app and how easy it is to access inappropriate content. Check the privacy settings everywhere you can.
Research or try games or new technology first before introducing it to your child. And initially, be present or play it with them.
Ask yourself:
• Can I make ways for my child to engage with technology without them talking to strangers?
• Can I help my child use technology to build skills and knowledge?
• Can I support the use of technology for production rather than consumption?
Especially when raising young children, introduce new apps and technology with more rules. You can dial rules back as your child grows because as they become an adult, they have to be able to live without us eventually.
If you need to revoke your child’s access to a specific technology:
1. Tell them why.
2. Ask what they like about that technology.
3. Help them find safer ways to meet that need.
Talk to your child about what to do if they see private parts, get messages from strangers, or see something upsetting online.
Encourage your child to come to you even when they do something they shouldn’t do.
If your teen already has relationships with people they met online, validate that those relationships are real by asking about them the way you would their other friends and connections.
When raising teens, ask them to show you how an app works and validate their expertise.
Tell your child if they ever need to get out of a tough situation, they can always “blame” you for saying no or text you an SOS request for a quick call that results in a pretend emergency or unexpected exit.
If you worry a youth has been harmed call law enforcement, or a service provider. It’s not your job to investigate what happened.
Name the behavior rather than labeling the youth. For example, a youth is not “stupid” because they made a choice to do something that was risky (e.g., going to meet up with someone from the internet). And even risky behaviors don’t mean that a youth deserves to be victimized or is at fault for what happened to them.
Try to be non-judgmental when listening to your youth. Pay attention to your body and try to reflect understanding and empathy through your body language as well as your words.
Don’t feel like you need to have all of the answers. If a youth asks you a question and you don’t know the answer, it’s okay to tell them you need to do some research or talk to someone and get back to them.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep. No one can promise that a youth will never again experience hurt or violence. Making these promises might help you feel better, but they can set up unrealistic expectations for the youth that can cause harm later
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The Lorraine Academy
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